November 16^th, 2023

Web Design and Intro

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My first time writing here, very fun and exciting! Hi to anyone and everyone reading this, getting this page up was a bit of a struggle but here we are (I'm just saying, there's a reason the links are at the bottom and not in their own box...). I've been having a lot of fun with this website though, maybe a bit too much fun if you know what I mean. It's not my fault web design is a serotonin machine, blame my brain instead...

Things have been hectic though, I actually just moved out of my parents house a couple weeks ago, so I've been doing a lot of adjusting. We didn't have WiFi all last week, which was a major pain in the ass since I need internet for class. Doing this project has helped ground me a lot though, instead of fretting about how our spoons suck or about how the apartment is very cold (we're in a basement), instead I'm thinking about coding and showing off the stuff I've made. It's helped a lot that everyone around me supports me in this, and they all think it's really cool, honestly that's all the reward I need when it comes to completing a personal project.

As for some more technical stuff, I'm planning on doing one of these every couple weeks or so, at least once per month. I do keep a real bullet journal in the non-internet space, but that one is daily, and you kind of miss the forest for the trees, so I'm hoping this one will help me see things on a more macro scale and give an overall feeling as to what I've been thinking and feeling as of late.

I'm really hoping I can connect with more people who are making or already have neocities sites, since I can see there's a real community here and I really want to be a part of it, but I'm not exactly sure where to start- either way, I'm going to keep working on this site until I run out of ideas, and since I never run out of ideas, I guess I'll have this to keep me occupied for a while.

Anyways, I feel like that's probably enough rambling for now. Wherever you are, I hope you have a good night!

December 3^rd, 2023

Finals and Depression

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This one is a bit more of a bummer. Sorry.

I've been going through a pretty bad depressive episode for the past couple of weeks, and the last few days it's only gotten worse, which is very inconvenient considering I have a lot of stuff I have to do. At the start of last month, I moved out of my parents place and into a new apartment, which is great, but the cracks are starting to show when it comes to how sustainable this apartment is. Honestly the two worst things are that there isn't a dollar store nearby and that we have no windows. Not being able to tell what the weather is really isolating, and the habit I had when I lived with my parents where I'd go walk to the dollar store to clear my head and get a snack just isn't viable anymore, meaning I don't end up leaving the house all that much.

Finals are kicking my ass, but not as badly as they usually are. Or maybe they are just as severe and I'm just not paying enough attention. I did myself a favor though by making my final assignment for Publication Design minimalist, despite my urges- just means there's less stuff I have to do. Usually finals are marked by a single assignment I go way too hard into, doing some random bullshit that makes my life much harder, but all the assignments this semester just feel like assignments, not final assignments. Best not to look a gift horse in the mouth, I suppose.

On the positive side, the semester is nearly over, meaning the break is coming up, which I'm pretty excited for. Plus, most profs don't have a class on the final week, so that means we really only have a week left. Yay!

Overall though I kinda feel like I'm stuck in a rut, or in some kind of bubble. I think I just need to get out more.

January 9^th, 2024

The New Year

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I kept saying I was going to do another one of these, and then kept forgetting, so I guess here we are. School has started up again, which I'm actually pretty happy about since I was starting to get a bit ansty. Christmas went pretty well, I hung out with some family members from BC who I don't see very often but really like! My nana couldn't make it to Christmas dinner though, she caught covid right before, which was a real gut punch.

Generally I'm trying to feel more refreshed in the New Year, I started journalling again, and I've been trying to be more proactive and take care of myself better, but if I'm being honest I feel a bit stuck. I'm not really sure what I want to work on next for this site, but I really love working on it, and so not having something to do is a bit distressing.

In less personal and more fun news, I've been really getting into vocaloid recently- adilene.net's Miku songlist really helped me get into it, and I've branched out a bit from that and added some of my own songs to the playlist I've been curating. It's honestly been a lot of fun, and it's so different from what I typically listen to, so it's really refreshing.

Anyways, overall things have been going okay, but they could be better- this entry is much less of a bummer than the last one, but I really hope that next time I do an entry I'm doing very well, instead of just kinda well.

February 29^th, 2024

Reading Week and Leap Day

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Happy February 29th! It's always cool to get a little secret day snuck in there, though it did lead to me making a typo in my phyisical bullet journal. Anyways, things have been going better for me (I think?), school this semester has actually been pretty calm, it's borderline boring, but at least I'm not super tense all the time. Since not a lot is going on, reading week has been a total breeze and I've been relaxing and doing stuff I enjoy. I finally got all my art supplies from my parents' house, meaning I can do embroidery again! Yay!

In other news, people have moved in upstairs. I actually haven't talked to them, but they seem... fine. I guess. They keep parking in our driveway and playing music super loud at 3am (I'm not huge on Drake a the best of times, let alone at 3am when I'm trying to sleep), but they're also not mean or anything. I just wish the floor between us was soundproofed better, it's very clear to me that the basement and main floor were never meant to be separate, so there is a lot of noise that leaks in from upstairs.

Also, you know how I mentioned getting into vocaloid in my last entry? Yeah, it's pretty much taken over my life. Which is cool, because it's awesome, I've been drawing a lot of fanart and it's made me really happy, plus it's gotten me to listen to more music in general! Speaking of which, I went to a punk show with a friend last week, and it was great but I regret not wearing earplugs, it was so loud it absolutely fucked up my hearing. It was strange though, I didn't have tinnitus or anything, it was more like I was hearing everything through blown out speakers. Weird, huh?

Anyways, that's pretty much everything that's been going on. My depression is a lot better I think, even if I do have bad spells they're lasting a few hours rather than a few days. I think the fact that the weather is finally getting better is really helping- here's to the spring!