Not bad weird, but definitely weird. I'm a bit odd with my views of my own gender, I personally believe that before I knew I was trans, I was a girl, even though that wasn't correct. This means that I grew up as a girl, my formative memories and experiences were that of a girl, and it shaped a lot of who I am today. I experienced a strange form of misogyny, in which I wanted to do boy activities (sports and video games), wear boy clothes (no dresses or skirts), and have a gender neutral name, but I was seen as strange for doing so, even though it came naturally. I was always a lot more aware of my gender because of my acts of non-conformity. My deadname had a shorter, gender neutral version, so if my name was just written down it was assumed I was a boy. When I did sports, I was always in girl's leagues, because the co-ed leagues were all boys, and me. Later, when I cut my hair short, I was assumed to be a pre pubescent teenaged boy, because of the fact that I was short, had a high voice, and had short hair- whenever I'd be reffered to with he/him pronouns, I would make a whole show about it. I mean, me? A boy? That's, I mean that's absurd why would anyone think I was a boy thats totally silly. Unthinkable, almost.
I think what made the idea a bit difficult to grasp was the lack of transmasculine representation in pop culture. There aren't a lot of trans men on tv or on the big screen, nor are there a lot of transmasc celebrities. I mean, there's Elliot Page, but that's about it for major figures. Even in the world of internet microcelebrities, most of the trans creators are transfem. It can be really isolating, not having someone to look up to or even to see as a reference for where you should be in your life and your transition. Now, I'm not saying transfems have it better than we do- they don't. While we're invisible in the eyes of the media, transfems are hypervisible. They're scrutinized, trivialized, and mocked at every turn. It's to the point in which accomadations for trans men, such as gender neutral language around menstrual products, is blamed on trans women, despite having nothing to do with them.
Let's talk about the elephant in the room then- transmisogyny. I love my trans sisters very much, transfems are the backbone of our community, they're incredible and amazing and unfortunately a lot of transmascs see trans women as our enemies. There's no denying that sexism is a massive part of masculinity, and a lot of trans men see that, and decide that in order to be men they have to perform hating women. A lot of trans men are insecure about their own oppression, they're insecure within their own genders, and they feel cheated that trans women get all the visibility (good and bad). This leads to a certain sect of trans men to self cannibalize the trans community, and be incredibly misogynistic. It's honestly really embarassing. Any time someone talks about the unique experiences of transmasculine people, I have to look into their other views to make sure that the post is not secretly about how the OP hates trans women. Just because you were a woman at one point doesn't mean you're immune to being a misogynist, and just because you're trans doesn't mean you're immune from being transphobic.
It sucks that I have to spend so much time criticizing other members of my community, but it's undenyable that transmisogyny in the transmasc community is a massive part of the experience. We should be lifting each other up, loving and supporting one another, not becoming bitter and spiteful that our peers get more attention than we do.